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What is an Iolausian?
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An Iolausian's Writings
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I do not know every Iolausian in the world. My observations are based on one or two examples only, but it's possible that others may exhibit some, or all of the characteristics I'll be discussing here. Or, possibly, none of those characteristics. That's what makes it so exciting!
'S' (real names are obscured to protect the innocent) is an Iolausian, and someone I've known for many years (although her Iolaus obsession dates back no more than a couple of years). Several previous offences need to be taken into consideration, including devotions to Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Battlestar Galactica, The 'A' Team, and Kung Fu: The Legend Continues.
'S' has also tended the registrations desk at many conventions, and livened up the day by selling commemorative mugs at 2.95 each, or a special offer of two for the price of three (yes, there were some people who didn't work that one out until after they'd handed over their money!) Alternatively, get a free mug every time you buy a miniature Easter Egg for three pounds - and this is in the middle of August [1]. She's also been a member of the organising committee for a couple of conventions, at which I learned, to my cost, just how efficient she can be at persuading people (i.e.) me to buy raffle tickets. A word of advice - if 'S' ever tries to sell you raffle tickets at five pounds a strip, do not, repeat not, under any circumstances tell her that you have nothing smaller than a ten... because you'll only end up buying two strips. I can guarantee this!
Last, but not least, she also runs a number of fan clubs. From all of this you may gather that this is not someone who sits back and lets things wash over her - she gets fully involved in her interests.
There are those who would have you believe that there is some outward and visible sign that identifies someone as a fan. Not so in this case. When you first meet her, there's nothing to set her apart from anyone else, apart from being bright and sparkling (well, most of the time, anyway) and knee-weakeningly attractive (much, much more bright and attractive than she'll give herself credit for!) Go up to the house - again, no outward and visible signs here - and inside. It's only when you enter the main living room that you notice the first tiny clue of her devotion - amongst the pictures of family and friends, on one wall there is a picture of Kevin Sorbo and Michael Hurst, in costume. Or should that be a picture of Michael Hurst and Kevin Sorbo ... ?
Take a look around the room, and you might spot a stack of magazines. As well as the normal (?) TV listings guides, these include titles such as Starlog, Starburst, Dreamwatch, Cult Times, and Cult TV. The common unifying theme - a picture of Michael Hurst on the cover. Over to the right are some video tapes ... including Hercules, the Legendary Journeys, but also anything else in which Mr Hurst might have made an appearance. In fact, a useful definition of an Iolausian might be: "someone who will watch anything and everything starring [2] Mr Hurst" - and this does mean anything! [3]
There is, of course, a TV (and a video recorder) in the room - well, there has to be something to watch the video tapes on. Those tapes seem to come out on a regular basis, often last thing at night for a quick fix before it's time to get some sleep. The last thing at night viewings seem to be fairly brief - a quick fast forward to the good bit [4] followed by a quick viewing of this good bit several times in sucession. Throughout this procedure, 'S' will gaze at the screen whilst wearing a very (and sometimes very) soppy expression.
Quite often, we lesser mortals will be plonked down on the sofa while 'S' puts on a tape of her favourite ... one of her favourite ... one of her many favourite episodes and tells us that we will watch it, and we will enjoy it. It's probably best to comply with these instructions, one way or another. Certainly, the cat has got this business of watching the TV on command down to a fine art, and she now positions herself about four feet from the screen and sits bolt upright, with her tail laid out straight behind her, gazing at the screen with rapt attention. This is quite remarkable, since this is the cat who, if she feels she isn't getting enough attention, is likely to stand so as to obscure the line of sight from the remote control to the receiver on the video recorder. This usually does gain her some attention ...
And so to bed - or, at least, the bedrooms, where we may gain a deeper insight regarding the extent of our Iolausian's obsession. Her own room contains many items that witness her obsessions. There is a model of the SSRN Seaview, the glass nosed submarine that featured in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, a multitude of books, and the odd film poster - the one for a film entitled Ssssss is very, very odd indeed. There are also several pictures. Before you ask - yes, those pictures do feature Michael Hurst in his role as Iolaus.
The front bedroom is given over to two functions . It's a storage area for various books, magazines, models, fan club correspondence and just about everything else [5], and also a computer room. Yes, there's another picture of Michael Hurst on the wall. What's more, a "Hercules Action Figure" (of Iolaus) sits on top of our Iolausian's monitor, and when she switches the computer on, the wallpaper on her desktop depicts... yes, Iolaus! Which gives an idea of what it is that this computer is used for.
Once 'S' has connected to the Internet, it gives her access to an entire world of information, source material, and opinion about Iolaus and Michael Hurst (and, to a lesser extent, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess.) Entire world is about right - there are fans in the United States (as one would expect, these being primarily American TV shows), New Zealand (again, as expected - that's where they're made), Australia, and Europe - and those are only the ones that I, with my admittedly limited exposure to these shows, know of. Web sites covering all aspects of H:TLJ and X:WP abound, and even though 'S' hasn't visited all of these, it certainly isn't for want of trying. She has also joined the Iolaus Mailing List, wherein fellow Iolausians post all sorts of messages about their hero. This list has attracted subscribers in considerable numbers, and can result in fifty e-mail messages being deposited in her mailbox every day.
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What is an Iolausian?
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An Iolausian's Writings
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Notes
This definition was supplied by 'S' herself,
who objected most vehemently when she saw that I hadn't included it on this
page! [Click here to return to the
main text]
It's a good job that video manufacturers
are considerate enough to provide a counter that displays the current tape
position to the nearest second. [Click here to return
to the main text]
Or, at least, that's how it seemed on the afternoon we shifted the entire contents out of there for redecoration - and on the evening we put it all back again. [Click here to return to the main text]
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What is an Iolausian?
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An Iolausian's Writings
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Page created: 30 March 1998
Date of last update: 27 February 1999
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